


You are who I want

by Churro_Kaspbrak



Series: You are who I want [1]
Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Eddie is married, First Time, M/M, Porn With Plot, Suicidal Thoughts, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 13:48:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Churro_Kaspbrak/pseuds/Churro_Kaspbrak
Summary: Since he was a little kid, Eddie was never interested in girls. It was not the usual “ew girls are gross” thing; in fact, he got along with most of the girls in his class, except for Greta, she was the devil incarnated. The “problem” was that he never thought of them as cute-cute.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: You are who I want [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549318
Kudos: 20





	You are who I want

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for you support in Under the skirt, I have decided to post this work that has been in my mind for a few weeks. English is not my first language so sorry for the grammatical mistakes :)

Since he was a little kid, Eddie was never interested in girls. It was not the usual “ew girls are gross” thing; in fact, he got along with most of the girls in his class, except for Greta, she was the devil incarnated. The “problem” was that he never thought of them as cute-cute. He saw how Ben acted when Beverly was near him, the poor guy started to sweat, a lot. He went like a fish out of the water, gasping for air, with his cheeks red as tomatoes, and when Bev asked him if he was okay, he would fully sprint towards the bathroom, leaving a confused Bev while the rest of the losers shared a knowing look. There was this time when Carol Sprisman, a girl considered by most of the male population of the Derry’s school as pretty, approached him in lunch, carrying a piece of paper like her life depended on it. He didn’t even notice the girl, to busy eating his apple that was cut in very small cubes because his mother was afraid of him choking to death, until he felt a kick on his shin. Before he could sent a glare towards the “kicker”, a small cough called his attention.   
“Sorry, do you need something?” Eddie asked while rubbing his shin, the girl started to babble vague words, she threw the paper over the table, and as fast she arrived, she left. Confused, Eddie stretched his hand to grab the paper but someone was faster than him.  
“Ohhhhh looks like someone has a crush on our little Eddie” Beverly teased him causing the others to read the paper and to joined her. Finally when Eddie grabbed it he could read what motivated all the shouting that was happening at their table:  
“I think you are really cute, want to watch a movie with me tomorrow?  
Xoxo Carol “  
His friends kept teasing him about his new admirer, but strangely he didn’t feel anything, he was waiting for the butterflies in his stomach, but nothing, completely nothing. He thought that even Bill was more excited than him. He only foiled the piece of paper and putted it inside the pocket of his shorts. The rest of the day went normal for him, he was in class, he went to his home but when he was making his homework calmly in his room and he saw his mother carrying the paper in her hand and watching him intensely, he knew that hell had been released. He touched his pockets and cursed internally, being mad with himself for not noticing when the paper fall from his pocket. But when he saw is mother getting near to him, he just stared at her, fear invading his body.  
“Well Eddie bear, who is this girl called Carol?” She asked him with an over sweet voice that Eddie hated with all his heart, it only meant bad things. He started to stammered, trying to find the right words.  
“No one important mo-mmy, just a g-irl of my class”   
“How this girl is not going to be important if she is interested in my little Eddie?, I’m going to iron your dress pants, the khaki ones, and your frannel for tomor…”  
“Mommy but I don’t want to go” Eddie regretted saying that when he saw his mother slowly turning to him, watching him in way that sent chills through out his spine, and made him stand up, trying to walked away from her, trying to walked away form that monsters called mother.  
“But Eddie Bear, she sounds like a really nice girl” she started to approached him slowly “You don’t want to break her heart, do you?” He stopped when he felt the wall of his room hit his back “You are not a faggot, right Eddie baby? You are not a faggot like your cousin Thomas, right Edward?” She was just a few centimeters away from him, she caressed a strand of Eddie’s hair between her fingers “You are such a good boy Edward”, in a second she snatched a handful of his hair and pulled it hard making Eddie wail, while still grasping him by his hair, she throwed him towards the floor. Eddie watched every movement of her with fear, with one hand she grabbed on of Eddie’s belts.  
“I’m just doing this because I love you Eddie bear” she raised her hand and a horrible noise was heard, of leather against skin and later Eddie’s scream following it.  
“Mommy please stop” another that horrible sound was heard. Various whimpers of pain got out of his mouth “Mommy please” he begged while crying but she didn’t listen to him.  
“I’m doing this because I love you my little Eddie” another hit, and another and later another, and another.  
At the end, Eddie was left curled in a ball, on his floor, tears streaming out of his eyes, not wanting to move any muscle of his body.  
“You are going tomorrow to your date, right Eddie Bear” he nodded slowly.  
“Edward I think I thought you well how to speak, use your words”.  
“Y-es m-ommy” even talking was something very hurtful for Eddie. She smiled satisfied.  
“ Goodnight Eddie Bear, rest well for your great day tomorrow” she spoke again with her over sweet voice, then she closed the door, and Eddie started to slowly crawled towards his bed, whimpering in the whole process, and when he was up, he grabbed one of his pillows and he cover his mouth with it, so his mother wouldn’t hear his scream of pure agony.

The next day the losers found Eddie curled in a little ball in a corner of the cafeteria, his arms were covered with the sleeves of his flannel and his legs with his khaki pants, something weird taking the fact that the weather was really hot that day.  
“Hey Eds” the first one to approached him was Beverly, who frowned with worry when she saw Eddie’s hands shake terribly, the other losers did the same when they got nearer to him.   
“Are you ok?” She pressed her hand in his forehead, thinking that maybe he got the flu or something like that.  
He flinched away from her hand, trying to give his friends a reassuring smile “Y-yeah, I’m just nervous because of the date” he lied, and he hated it, he wanted to tell them everything, to show them the bruises in his arms and legs, to tell them how many times he have thought of ending his life, but he lied again, as always.  
“Our little Eddie is growing up so fast” Mike said while fake crying, the others laughed, everyone except Ben, who only stared at his friend who was still on the floor. He was going to say something but the bell ringed, telling them that if they didn’t move fast, they were going to be late to class. But even when all of them started to walk, he noticed how it took more time than normal to Eddie to stood up. After school, Eddie was waiting for Carol outside of the cinema with a flower in hand, something that Mrs. Kaspbrak forced him to do. When he saw the girl walking to him, wearing a beautiful pink dress with flowers on it, he only felt fear, like a man meeting his end.  
“This is for me? Eddie you didn’t have to” he didn’t want to “ You are such a gentleman, c’mon the movie is going to start soon!” She grabbed his hand and he felt like he was going to throw up. While making the line for popcorn, he felt the stares of envy of some of his classmates who were going to watch a movie too, but what they didn’t know, it was that he envied them.The movie was a stupid romantic movie that she chose, and when they entered the room where the movie was going to be shown, he understood why. The entire audience consisted only of couples which some of them, even thought the light was still on, were eating their faces off. Ok, Eddie was going to throw up soon.  
When they sat in their places, Eddie saw that Carol’s hand was looking out for his, he quickly grabbed a handful of popcorn, trying to avoid the girl who, a little bit irritated, retreat her hand and wait for the light to be turned off and the movie to begin. In the middle of the movie everything was worse, nobody was watching the movie, except of Eddie who was staring at the screen, avoiding the girl’s gaze which was on him already for almost a hour.  
“Eddie” Eddie felt a hand on his forearm, he hissed because of the bruise that was being touched and he turned his eyes which widened completely when he saw the other girl, with her eyes closed, leaning her face towards his, with her lips puckered out. He needed to throw up, and now. He separated quickly, standing like a snake was at his side and run towards the exit, making some people to complain when he passed stepping on their feet, and leaving a confused girl behind. When he was a few blocks away from his house, he ejected all his breakfast and lunch on the sidewalk, making people to watched him disgusted, wondering why the Kaspbrak kid was vomiting like he had eaten something expired.

The next day, when his friends asked him how his date went, he lied again.  
“Oh it went pretty well, only that the movie was little bit boring” he forced a smile, his friends kept asking him questions while Ben stayed silent, munching at his sandwich. Later, in Chemistry class, when he made visual contact with Carol, he only lowered his head and went directly to his booth at the side of Stanley.

A few years later, when they were almost finishing high school, Bill invited them to his house. Almost all of the loser were there, except of Beverly who was in a family reunion, and of Ben who was fishing an essay due for tomorrow and of Mike who was busy with work. When Stan, Bill and him were scrolling through Bill’s computer, a weird add, appeared on the screen, Bill curiously clicked on it, a huge mistake. What they saw, left them shocked. The ad lead them to a porn video, were it showed two guys fucking, they were watching the screen with their mouth opened while one of the guys was moaning like he was experiencing al the pleasure of the world while the other guy was fucking his brains out. Eddie watched all that with a weird feeling all over his body, the guy’s dick being out and being inside again and again of the other’s ass was provoking some things on him. When guy was almost going to cum, Stanley got out of his stupor.  
“BILL TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF” Bill shaking his head quickly trying to clear his mind, went crazy searching for a way out, a last moan was heard and finally they watched again the normal screen lock of the computer that it was a picture of Bill and Georgie together. Thank god that the little kid was out with his parents. They first shared an awkward look between them, but later they shrugged it off and they played in Bill’s computer until everyone started to leave to their home, not knowing that the video affected strongly to them. That night, while sleeping, Eddie started to trashed around his bed, some sounds were getting out of his mouth, sounds that progressed to whimpers and in one movement, with his belly to the bed, he started to humped his bed. Inside his mind, he was fucking someone, whose face he couldn’t see, but he continued pumping his dick inside, loving the feeling of the tight ass around his cock. When a sudden wave of pleasure crashed him, he opened his eyes, his breath going out in harsh pants, with the darkness surrounding him, he moved until his back now was against the bed, his mind started to work and he started to remember part of his dream, the tight ass, the pleasure, everything. He slowly creeped his hand to his waist,when he got there he made a small pause, but he continued lower, now inside his pijama pants. When his hand surrounded his cock, he let out a sudden moan, grateful that the walls of his house were width enough for him no to get worried of his sounds waking up his mother. He started to pumped it, getting out more moans each time his fingers passed the tip pf his dick, whimpering when his other hand started to touch his balls, almost yelling when he pictured him, in that same bed, fucking the ass like in his dream, like how the guy in the video was fucking the other. He imagined the whimpers of his lover, he imagined one of his hands grabbing the other’s dick and pumping it, searching for the pleasure of his lover while searching his own. He let out a high pitch whimper when his semen passed through his fingers and landed on his pijama, staining it. Eddie stayed in that position for many minutes, staring at the ceiling, searching for air and with same though passing through his head again and again.  
“I’m gay and if someone finds it out, I’m going to be completely dead”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, if you want me to continue please leave a kudo and a comment!  
I saw today some clips that are in the DVD of It chapter 2 AND THEY WERE AMAZING.
> 
> Love, Churro.


End file.
